I am hiding in my bathtub. I snuck away from work a precious 1.5 hours early, I fed the baby, I passed her off to my visiting mom (thank you Jesus for grandmas), and I side-stepped my way directly into the tub.
You see, my friends, I am an alone-time person. As Val can testify, while I loved to sit on the couch in college and watch Sister Wives with a bottle of Oliver Moscato and my gal pals, I also really loved to shut my door and watch Netflix until the sun came up with zero interruptions. I am not an alone-time-on-my-commute-then-hang-out-all-night person. I am not an alone-time-for-ten-minutes-in-the-shower-before-bed person. I am a shut the door, everyone out, nobody touch me, nobody talk to me, I-need-some-serious-time-to-myself person. You know what doesn’t happen when you work 75 hours a week and have a child who is always home when you are? ^That. I have long needed this time sans-others to recharge, and it is juuuuust not happening these days. If I am not holding the baby at home, I am scrambling to catch up with my overflowing work-work and emails. If I am not at home, I am driving to work or working. Night out with friends? What is that? I can’t even think about it until I have five minutes to myself.
Today while I was driving from the hospital to a simulation session, pumping and eating while driving, and already 10 minutes late, I seriously considered pulling over, laying down in the grass, and just ignoring everyone for a few minutes. Then I realized that was crazy, and the bathtub >>> the grass. But – I had gone long enough running place to place and ignoring myself.
Have you read the book “Five Minutes Peace” by Jill Murphy? I haven’t since I was a kid, but I remember the story: Mrs. Large (an aptly named elephant) has three crazy kiddos who will not leave her alone. All she wants is Five Minutes Peace in the tub. I think about Mrs. Large a lot these days. I only have one kid, and I still can’t get Five Minutes Peace! I feel you, Mrs. Large. I am you! I am hiding in my bathtub, listening to the controlled chaos of the baby and the dog outside, and blatantly ignoring the uncontrolled chaos of my inbox.
You can wait, world. Mama needs five.
Two Docs and a Blog 